By Maya Bailey

In a session with a coaching client the other day, my client asked, “Why is it so hard to pick up the phone?” He said he schedules in the time to prospect every day but when it comes time to actually pick up the phone, he freezes and can’t bring himself to do it.

He explained, “It doesn’t matter if it’s cold call or a lead where I have to follow up, either way, I can’t make myself do it.”



I asked him what he thinks about when it’s time to prospect and he said, “I tell myself it won’t work” or “nobody wants to hear from me” or “I’ll feel like a failure.” None of those beliefs were facts but they succeeded in winning him over. Then he would criticize himself mercilessly.

How much do you relate to that?

During the reprogramming session, it became clear that his biggest fear was of failing. His subconscious mind was wired to believe that the best way not to fail was to not try. His whole life he avoided situations where he might fail and prospecting was one of those situations.

We found the origin of his “I’ll be safe if I just don’t try” belief and together we released this belief and installed some updated empowered beliefs such as:

  • I prospect with ease.
  • There is no such thing as rejection, it’s either a match, or it’s not a match.
  • I have a valuable service to offer and people are happy to hear from me.

The last belief is especially powerful.  I have seen so many agents transform their perspective on prospecting by realizing they weren’t calling to “take” anything; they were calling to “offer” their valuable expertise.

On the other hand, some agents are blocked when it comes to prospecting because they are afraid of being successful. When they initially talk to me they say, “I want your help in succeeding because I feel stuck”. However, when we explore the deeper subconscious beliefs, here is what emerges from the subconscious mind:

  • If I succeed I won’t have a life.
  • If I succeed I won’t have time for myself or my family.
  • To succeed, I have to struggle and sacrifice.
  • To succeed, I will have to morally compromise.

Naturally they weren’t able to succeed since the subconscious mind (which is 90 per cent of the mind) was always winning.

As before the solutions was to release these false beliefs about success and install updated empowered beliefs, such as:

  • Success comes to me easily
  • I work smarter not harder
  • I succeed and still have balance in my life.
  • On the path to success, I am always in my integrity.

Whatever blocks you are experiencing on the outer level, like procrastination, feeling overwhelmed or lack of motivation, there is a corresponding deeper belief that is the cause.

The solution is clear: change the inner beliefs and you’ll change your ability to create your ideal income and have balance in your life.

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3 COMMENTS

  1. Great advice Maya!
    Glad I didn’t have a K.I.A like Martindale for a broker when I got in the business. I was advised to “go knock on doors” , it worked real well and still does, almost four decades later according to those I mentor

    • Don:
      You will notice that I said “I agree with Maya’s philosophy.” at the outset of my comment. So then, we are in complete agreement on that score.
      What does the acronym K. I. A. mean? When I use acronyms I regularly spell out the full phrases before using the acronyms (except just for you, at the end of this post). Spell it out man.
      So you were advised to become a door-to-door salesman, like a Kirby vacumn cleaner salesman? Did you hand out free sets of cheap flexible tin knives and forks to get your foot in the doors?
      The correct English spelling/meaning of “…it worked real well…” is “…it worked ‘really’ well…”. Do you do everything of a communicative nature in a mad rush without checking for grammatical errors, or, do you just not care enough to get it right? Do you even know the difference? I think not.
      Yes, knocking on doors and pissing off a substantial number of residents who don’t like door-to-door salespeople does work, like sifting for gold works…except the discarded dirt in the pans (similar to the discarded/pissed off homeowners) doesn’t get pissed off; it just gets redistributed. Your game is simply a numbers game. It is the same game that all door-to-door salespeople play; every ‘no’ or ‘eff off!’ gets you closer to a ‘yes’. I played that game too when I first started, but, I quickly evolved from a learned strategy-spewing door-to-door salesman to an advocate for those who chose to work with me without my forcing myself on them at inopportune times at their front doors. I did not aim to use consumers to achieve a “Multiple Six Figure Income In Twelve Months Or Less” selfish goal. You, my friend, promote the invasion of privacy for profit. You think like an insurance company salesman and you also behave like an insurance company actuary (calculating how many losses can be sustained whilst making a substantial profit). Your philosophy is a consumer throw-away philosophy.
      Have you heard of the do-not-call rules? How many folks do you think would like to see a do-not-knock rule? I would submit that the majority opinion would rule in favour of that proposition. If you accept the foregoing, then you must also accept that you really don’t care much about how many people you piss off at their front doors in pursuit of your personal quest for commissions in great numbers. You just might be an unwitting user.
      I am glad that you were not my mentor, because, the products of your mentorship are the reason why RECO is about to change up the philosophy of what it means to be a professional real estate advocate. You are a product of/current member of the old school mentality that pervades the real estate scene… the scene that most consumers have a dim view of. Keep on talking to all of the others within your bubble (preaching to the choir) for as long as you can, because it will be burst within a few years from without. Change is coming, and you are going. It is called extinction.
      By the way, my mentor was my best friend…my lawyer.
      T. T. F. N.

  2. I agree with Maya’s philosophy. However, most newbies, as well as far too many post-newbie failures-in-waiting (the majority of registrants on any given day) do ‘not’ possess the requisite experience/knowledge/self-confidence to realistically convince themselves that they are indeed providing a valuable service based upon their own self-knowledge of their foundational shortcomings. They don’t understand how woefully unprepared they are for the big leagues…until post licensing when their feet hit the ground…stumbling. They have naively and willingly swallowed the bait trolled before them by CREA’s and Organized Real Estate’s glossy (misrepresentative) recruitment tactics. (Gotta keep those dollars flowing into the coffers don’t’cha know; there’s an in-the-bubble operating standard to be maintained) That is why these babes-in-the-woods are very quickly pulled up short from their dreams and they thence correctly, and quickly, devolve to believe that they are indeed asking for something ‘from’ instead of offering something ‘to’ prospects. That is the truth and they instinctively know it.
    The “Fake It ‘Till Ya Make It” mantra does not sit well with honest-at-heart people, and consumers certainly do not appreciate being played. It takes time to build up an internal dialogue of truth to power, especially when one enters the fray unarmed. One cannot, therefore, replace a lie with psychological strategies without experiencing cognitive dissonance. Thus, the phone receiver remains perched on the hook. Ergo, for these meek-and-mild registrants, Maya’s strategies have only a short-term impact.
    Maya’s strategies ‘do’ work well with registrants who ‘do’ know what they know about all things real estate related, those well equipped registrants who simply need a little push to get started. However, feigned self confidence is never long lasting. Perhaps CREA and ORE should only recruit professional actors. They are professionals at nicely lying for a living…pretending to be something that they are not.
    I think that if a registrant’s main thrust/prevailing mindset is to “…achieve a Multiple 6 Figure Income in 12 months or less”, then his/her money-chasing personality type easily subverts a “become a professional first, and the money, however much that may be, will follow” developmental attitude. The former personality type is that which CREA and ORE are trolling for. Their gullible suckers might do just as well at the casino.
    This post is not intended as an attack on Maya or her good intentions. I realize that she is simply offering her well-intentioned expertise (for a fee, not a commission; she’s no dummy) as a vehicle to help those who are weak in the self-confidence arena. It is the underlying strategies/attitudes of CREA and ORE that I have a big problem with, because they traditionally and currently knowingly lead suckers who have little else than initial, misplaced self-confidence into the minefield of a real estate war zone where only the really well equipped practitioners (from the get-go) survive and/or thrive. Most of these folks don’t need Maya’s help.

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