By Dan St. Yves

Day 1: Well, turns out I need to self-isolate for 14 days? Piece of cake! I’ve got plenty of groceries, dozens of TV channels and a loooong list of things to do around the house – seriously, a total piece of cake!

Maybe tonight I’ll even dig out one of those old DVDs I never watch anymore…



Day 2: Watched Castaway last night, with Tom Hanks – oddly enough, a bit appropriate given the circumstances! Imagine though, naming a volleyball and having conversations with it! HA HA! As if!

I did consume quite a bit of potato chips and dip, so maybe I’d better swerve to some fruit and vegetables tonight.

Day 3: You know, fruit and vegetables are really hard to chew on absent-mindedly. They need to be washed, peeled, chopped, dipped – that sounded like too much work, so I just made a bowl of popcorn. Pretty much scarfed that down while I watched Gravity with Sandra Bullock. Never mind getting stranded on a desert island, how about getting stranded in space?

After the movie I peeked out the front curtains to check out how everyone else was faring in my neighbourhood. Pretty quiet, not even a single car driving by down the street. Ralph did head out to take his dog for a walk, hope he stays safe out there!

Day 4: Okay, starting tomorrow morning, I’m cutting back on these heavy breakfasts. I won’t last the week, let alone two of them if I keep eating at this pace.

And I really need to consider expanding my taste in movies. Watched my DVD of The Martian with Matt Damon. How many movies are there with people stranded somewhere? I wish I had a dog myself that I could take out for a walk. I see Ralph is still getting out everyday with his.

Day 5: I was going to make some homemade french fries, but one of my potatoes actually looked like a human face. Eyes, nose and even a smirk. I couldn’t bring myself to cut him up. Left him on the countertop.

With that smirk, I jokingly called him Benny – not sure why…

Day 6: After watching way too many movies about people being stranded, Benny and I decided to listen to some satellite radio last night, a channel featuring AM radio hits of the ’70s.

That didn’t go so well though – Solitary Man, All By Myself, Alone Again Naturally – did none of these songwriters have any friends or family?

We did spend some time looking out the living room window, wondering when was the last time Ralph changed his shirt. He wears the same one every night walking his dog.

Note to self – put out some new clothes for tomorrow morning.

Day 7: I could have sworn I had projects to work on around the house, but I haven’t been able to muster up much in the way of motivation. After the first couple of pots of coffee every morning I play a bit of Solitaire at the kitchen table and tune out Benny’s horrible potato puns. That smirk of his should have been a warning sign!

Odd how when I tried to slip on my spare pair of jeans, they barely made it up past my knees.

I must have shrunk them the last time I washed them.

Day 12: Lost track of time – is it Sunday? Monday? July?

Haven’t talked to Benny in a couple of days. He wasn’t happy when I accused him of stealing what was left of our soda pop. Plus he had started to get little odoriferous, maybe spending too much time looking out the window without ever bothering to wash up?

At any rate, just a couple more days to go before I can come out of this self-isolation. Movies and music didn’t go so well, so I’m digging out some of my old books. I used to be a huge fan of Stephen King. Not sure which one to re-read – The Shining? The Stand?

Maybe both, those oughta get my mind off all this endless isolation!

NO COMMENTS

Leave a Reply