Authors Posts by Dan St. Yves

Dan St. Yves

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Humour columnist and author Dan St. Yves was licensed with Royal LePage Kelowna for 11 years. Check out his website at www.nonsenseandstuff.com.

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Back in those early ’70s days, there were no big box sporting goods stores offering a wide selection of Wayne Gretzky-approved street hockey apparel. You either had to buy official hockey equipment or you had to improvise.

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“But, you said specifically that you wanted a rustic bungalow on a private lot with plenty of mature trees and hardwood floors!” countered Artie Behr. “Yes” replied Goldie. “But this one is much too hard on my soul, and I need something softer.”

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Would you like to be a writer? Have you ever wondered what might be required for a successful career in the print medium? Me too! You probably already unknowingly dabble in everyday writing as it is.

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This memory got me to thinking that perhaps (despite demands and pleas from clients) an agent should be able to choose the best possible home in which to do a summer open house during those hot August days (apologies to Neil Diamond).

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For such small birds, Mama and Papa seemed quite able to protect their improvised duct nest. One watched from the nearby tree until I tried to reset my ladder, at which point he or she attacked as if propelled from a bazooka.

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Over the years in my sales career, I have had several clients express concern over house numbers. They would either pass on viewing a home altogether, or insist that I check with the city to ensure that those house numbers could be changed to a more favourable combination.

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While I have met the second-generation Hints From Heloise in person, I have never had an encounter with famed newspaper columnist Dear Abby or...

real estate photography

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Most times I could rely on my silver tongue to assure homeowners that the picture they were looking at was absolutely their own home and not a battered four-drawer lateral filing cabinet recovered from a riverbed.

Dan St. Yves

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At a time when “viral” wasn’t even a thing yet, my innocent ad gained considerable notoriety among my colleagues and several clients, who took great amusement with that image. My vine days are behind me now. My cautionary tale with marketing is: get a second opinion before you swing full-steam ahead.

real estate humour

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On the lighter side, some real estate humour from Dan St. Yves: Here are just a few examples of some unsuccessful real estate song lyrics – to the tune of a classic Paul Simon nugget, 50 Ways To Leave Your Lover.