A recent survey shows that the top fear is public speaking. The fear of death was later on down the list. That means most people would rather die than speak in public!
How about you? How do you feel about public speaking?
Having coached thousands of people in the last 30 years, I can assure you that there is hope.
Many of my clients were terrified of speaking in front of a group of people, and then as they learned the following seven tips, they started to relax. Some became exceptional at public speaking. I remember one client who did such an about-face that by the end of the coaching, she decided to become a professional speaker.
Tip 1: Normalize your fear. In other words, be aware that just about everyone shares this fear. It is normal in our society.
Tip 2: Remember that your thoughts create your reality. If you tell yourself, “I am a terrible public speaker,” then you’ll become that which you think.
Tip 3: Remember to visualize how you want to see yourself. How would you ideally like to feel when speaking in front of people? Would you like to be calm and relaxed? Start visualizing yourself as a calm and relaxed speaker, and step inside of the picture and feel the feelings as if they are happening right now.
Tip 4: Give yourself a positive verbal suggestion, such as “I am a calm, confident, and dynamic public speaker.” I personally used that one and within a short period of time I became what I affirmed.
Tip 5: Ask yourself why you are afraid. Did a negative episode happen in your life where you were ridiculed or judged? If so, a part of you decided, “I’ll never do that again.” It became your survival strategy. Healing that wound will require that you ask the scared part what it would need to feel safe. A client of mine said just that to her scared part. It became clear that her scared part would only be willing to speak up if it was being heard by a friendly, supportive audience, where mistakes were allowed.
Tip 6: Find a person who will listen with support and encouragement, like a coach or a mentor. Then role play with that person until you feel comfortable speaking.
Tip 7: Speak from your heart. Realize that your speaking is a gift. It is benefiting the listener. Become passionate about what you say. Focus on them, not you. This is about them and what you have to give to them.
A personal note: at one point I was nervous about public speaking. I followed all of the suggestions that I mentioned above. In addition, whenever I speak, I carry some 3×5 cards in my hand with sufficient notes. That way I know that if I get lost or distracted, I have something to bring me back on track.
With her 30 years of psychological expertise, Dr. Maya Bailey specializes in helping real estate professionals who want more clients, more free time, and a better lifestyle to create confidence, a positive mindset, and a step-by-step blueprint for success. For specific ways to “master your psychology” about getting clients and growing your business, and your personalized step-by-step success blueprint, visit www.90DaysToMoreClients.com. To contact Dr. Maya Bailey, call (707) 799-5412.
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