By Dan St. Yves
Day One: Well, I did it! Finally purchased a few bus stop bench ads, and they are getting installed over the next couple of days, all over the city. Can’t wait to swing by and see how they look. This will really help with my marketing presence!
Day Two: Graffiti artists! Those scamp kids! A couple of my bus stop ads had some of my teeth blacked out. I’ll probably be able to get some white paint and get those corrected myself shortly.
Hmmm…maybe a little yellow paint…I really need to book a dentist appointment.
Day Three: These kids are pretty organized. As soon as I got the first two benches fixed up, the other three were vandalized. I can see that I might spend a little bit more time driving around checking on these marketing tools than I had anticipated. I wonder how much webcams would cost.
Day Four: Okay if these are really kids damaging my ads, they are budding creative artists. Now some of these little Picassos are adding devil horns onto my picture! I’d better pick up a wider palette of paints when I get back over to the craft store. I should still be able to fix these puppies up myself.
Day Five: For Pete’s sake! A black eye on one bench, and some pirate patches on some others? Don’t these people have anything better to do with their time? I’m getting the ad company to just cover the whole bunch of benches again with fresh ads. I was starting to look like an abstract painting with the mismatched paint jobs over my face.
Day Six: 4 a.m. Sleepy, but I am determined to catch these hardened criminals in the act. Even if I can’t go to the bathroom until the sun rises.
Day Six, Part Two: 5:30 a.m. Must have dozed off. The reprobates swung by and painted an arrow on the side of my head. Good thing my focus at least stayed when I fell asleep – where’s the nearest gas station washroom?
Day 12: I told the police officer that these vandals are clearly easy to identify. They need to be looking for fans of the classic rock band Kiss, or lovers of animals with really big ears. At least that’s what they’re adding to my photo this last few times.
Day 18: Well, I have to give these numb-skulls a bit of cred. Making my head invisible was pretty inventive.
Day 25: Okay, I give up. I’ve lost almost a month of work and commissions driving around the city trying to repair or replace these dang bus stop ads. I’ll try something different, maybe one of those coffee newsletters they give out at restaurants. I need a good night’s sleep.
Day 30: Dunky Donuts has my newsletter ad out for guests to grab and read, I’ll snap one up and have a quick look.
Doodles! And devil horns!
I wonder how much it would cost to run ads on the side of a hot-air balloon.