By Dan St. Yves

Some interesting new options appearing across the country for struggling homeowners are the quaint, adaptable “tiny houses” – tiny little spaces that might make you compromise on what you can buy at the local furniture store, but allow for an affordable roof over your head. Even if that roof only features 12 shingles.

You can tow them, park them or play a game of catch with some – these little homes are charming and just require a bit of sacrifice, if you’ve grown up in a large rambling three-storey property.



Here are a few pluses that you may not have considered if you’re in the market for a tiny house:

  • A tiny house is not just a cosy living space; it also makes a great keychain fob!
  • All your childhood dollhouse furniture will work in there just as well as it did for Barbie.
  • The pantry is also the guest bedroom, the broom closet, the basement and the attic.
  • Any laptop is now a big screen TV.
  • One tornado can convert the property into a treehouse or an experimental underwater home.
  • Dragon’s Den will see a burst of activity in pitches from developers of six-inch fire extinguishers, bottle-cap sized Roombas and single-burner stoves.
  • You’ll never have to worry again when you forget why you walked from one room into another.
  • Your renovation bills won’t be outrageous. How expensive can it be to make a bigger space for one shoe, or two each of all your cutlery options?
  • Your empty two-litre Pepsi bottle retrofits in seamlessly to replace your hot water tank.
  • If you can’t find your reading glasses, you haven’t looked around your 14-square-foot living room hard enough.
  • Despite the cramped quarters, the wee home will be the perfect gathering space for all of your imaginary friends.
  • Your cat will no longer do that crazy pacing thing when he can’t find his stuffed squeaky toy.
  • You’ll save a fortune on curtains. And area rugs.
  • You may be able to use the same Swiffer for years.
  • For a fancy new design on all four walls, just shake your Pepsi can really hard before you open it.
  • If you suddenly find yourself needing new flooring, just remove the legs from your ping-pong table.
  • If your roof is leaking, you may be able to get through that bad rainstorm by just setting your pup tent up over the home.
  • If you’ve misplaced your painting drop-cloth, a cocktail napkin should do the trick.
  • Say what you will, there’s something just plain awesome about making toast right from the cosy comfort of your master bedroom.
  • You may want to convince that spider to share his web – you’ve always wanted a hammock.
  • You can read one page of the morning newspaper in your kitchen and the other in your foyer – without moving.
  • That annoying dust that accumulates so quickly from the Kleenex boxes makes for a surprisingly delightful hill, easing the access into your two-poster bed at night.
  • Spoiler alert! Your partner’s bad gas attacks may require an adjoining tiny house – proximity fumes in small enclosed spaces may be deemed fatal.
  • Well, most of them are upsides – consider a tiny house, and you may never want to go cramping again.
  • Sorry, camping.
  • Brian Martindale

    Dan Man:
    If a couple with Dual Income and No Kids buys a pink house, would it then become a Pink DINK house?
    Would Realtors listing and selling DINK houses have to be registered as “DINK Specialists”?
    Would a “DINK Specialist” designation be decried as being politically incorrect?
    Would a “Pink DINK Specialist” be judged to be prejudicial? What about a “White DINK Specialist”, or a “Blue DINK Specialist”, or a “Solid Brick DINK Specialist”?
    I was a DINK once. Now I’m a DOINK (Divorced Occasionally Idiotic Kibitzer)

    • Dan St.Yves

      Ha!

      Brian, you’ve taken out the sting of the editor changing “curtain” and “area rug” to plurals, for which the singular was the intended joke, given the tiny space.

      Personally, I’m not going to touch your…comment….

      However, feel free to continue with your word’s play – it’s a free country!

      • Oops. Sorry Dan!

        • Dan St.Yves

          Ha!

          Sorry, Jim, I wasn’t that devastated!

          However, it is ironic to note that when I ran this piece before my First Line Editor (The Mrs), she came back with the EXACT same change… :-)

      • Brian Martindale

        Given that a PINK DINK house is a tiny space, maybe a tiny space man would be a good prospect for a PINK DINK Specialist to target. I can see the ad being blasted into space on the nose of a Saturn rocket and being ejected at 500 miles altitude in an explosion of PINK DINK leaflets swirling around in the empty void of dark matter with words of puffery like “Why Go Big Ass When You can Go Small; Buy A PINK DINK Home, Next To The Strip Mall”.
        Hmmm…Do you think this ad would pass muster…instead of gas?

        • Dan St.Yves

          I think the ad is a winner, we can never get enough puffery – egads, I had better watch my OWN wordplay here!